My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got chris browned last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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