Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
