Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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