Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
