Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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