I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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