worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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