if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
