I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
