U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
