Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
