I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
