can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
