for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
