I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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