Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
