No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
