I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
