then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
