your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
