ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My ass is underappreciated
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
