The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Acid is not a monday night drug
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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