My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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