Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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