i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
