Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I party with great urgency now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
