Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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