You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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