Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
