I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
