What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So many bounce houses so little time
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
