from now on my penis is your penis
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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