allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
false alarm. still invincible.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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