And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
