Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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