I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she peed on how many people?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Houston, we have a squirter
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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