kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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