It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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