Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
