I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
