Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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