don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
