he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
