Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
