I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
