maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
