We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
