508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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