I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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