I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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