yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
