Christians are straight up FREAKS
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
